because

just drop 10k at my feet and i’l throw the letter

every day when i get home, dad will ask if anything ‘exciting’ happened during the day. and i will start telling my tale, ranting and complaining about how sb is.

its just so tiring to be constantly mad, irritated and complaining. but i really cannot help it. every day i tell myself to stop. and i know i will soon. not because i quit, but rather, im just sick of complaining that i stop doing that.

just like how i used to complain about being in this sticky friendship.

i still am in a rut by the way. but that’s beside the point.

im finally writing bcos i saw a post specially dedicated to me, dated 18 april, wishing me happy birthday.
and i quote her ” And probably, even if I post this 3 months later, saying Happy Birthday to you, you probably won’t bother cause you know how I am like and how I keep things going.”
she’s damn right. i thank those who remember this day and took the trouble to organise a party, some sort of celebration, a text… anything. but if there’s nothing, i wouldnt be angry, upset or disappointed. so yes, i dont really care except that.. i was really worried when she didnt text me. not for anything else but the mere fact that she must have died, or emo-ed big time that she didnt care about the world anymore. and that’s pretty scary.

anyways im cool. i had a quiet birthday this yr. last yr was too haps already so this yr decided to tone it down just a wee bit haha. im thankful for all the well wishes. they have been received with loads of love.

just kinda wish that im not caught in this cliche quarter life crisis but well. life goes on. the job hunt goes on. hahah.

oh and for record, it took 3 yrs for the pain to subside. so GYMBY, you still have tons to go. but we’ll hold onto each other like lifelines and seek emergency solace when the need arise. you know im here and i know you are. much love.