because

Ground rules

So much on my mind yet I don’t know where to start. Guess things just started snowballing from the day someone questioned my decision to apply for a position under the same company. And then I start to doubt myself, whether i’m able to pull myself out frm the situation and look at things objectively, handle things professionally. I doubt myself, but I’m desperate to get out. So.. Anything goes.

On hindsight, I think I can. I’ve handled it well till now. Stuck to the ground rules stated and mentioned clearly.

Maybe too disciplined. Today my first reaction was to withdraw my hand. I didn’t have to even THINK abt it. And then the follow up qns, once more asking if I’m sure I wanna have a shot at the opening. ‘people may talk’ was the reason given. Hell yes people will talk. I deliberated.

My motto for the past few years have been the same. As long as I’m happy. I just can’t seem to find the path that leads to that lately. Maybe I have taken things too much for granted that I’ve overlooked all the small things which I’m sposed to be thankful and happy for.

We need to reset and steer the directions to the right path.

After all the action, winding down the day with a movie that I can relate to big time sounds most ideal. It talked abt setting ground rules. But eventually after a long long time, they realised how silly they’ve been all these while.

It’s stupid to hope but at least, that’s something positive and a happily ever after.

That nagging pain, it just wouldn’t go away today. Its almost like I’ve found my long lost friend. Forgotten but such familiarity, such.. pain.