because

迟来的道歉

刚看了一篇文章，有感而发。

當一個女人身陷情海愛對方勝過自己時，我想在這場愛情遊戲中她就已經注定輸場了，因為….她已經把決定權交給男方。
男人們….若是發現身邊有個這麼愛你的女人，千萬記的要好好珍惜她，倘若連這麼愛你的女人你都不知道珍惜的話，我想……你應該會抱憾終生喔！

朋友说了一句话：didn’t he realise that your disappointment will be greater than his?

我愣住了。 The issue which I’ve been trying to fathom, finally came to light.
Been trying to figure out WHAT exactly I am upset over. The fact that the email got into the wrong hands? You not supportive of my decision? Myself going to be unemployed soon? WHAT?!

I accept all criticisms and I allow others to say their views. I like to hear what people have to say, but. There should be a limit as to HOW MUCH should be said. My disappointment did not come from the fact that you are not supportive of my decision. Rather, it was the way you said it. Loud and clear. And how dare you compare me to another person, when I needed you the most at such a crucial time. You are the first person I told, the first I seeked SOS. You can reject my SOS, but how dare you tell me because unlike your date, I am a disappointment. What right do you have, to call me a disappointment.

I think you have no fucking idea how the words have resonated in my head over the last two days. That to you, all I am is a disappointment. Thank you for trampling on whatever leftover pride I have. Even as a close friend, you did not respect me for who I am.

When you needed comfort, 我放纵你; 任劳任怨，任你宰割.只有鼓励，安慰.

Regardless of how much you have hurt me, how much excuses you’ve given over the lack commmitment, I have NEVER used the word disappointed on you before. And we’re talking about when you’ve hurt ME. I grit my teeth, take a deep breath and change the topic. But there has to be a limit to what I can accept.

I accept that you are your individual, you think in your own manner. Sad to say, the way you have put it across is much more than what I can bear. At that instant when I needed a comforting hug, you killed me.

No doubt I still need to seek solace. I’m just not sure if it’s you anymore.