because

the subconscious wall

i guess there’s no better time than this to update. come wed, i will officially add on to the unemployment rate. i’ve a couple of interviews lined up and some are in the final round, so hopefully i dont stay unemployed for too long. once the unemployment is out of the way, i can then truly enjoy whatever left of the break before we start afresh. i just not sure if i should settle or i shd wait. that’s always the case isnt it. nonetheless, im glad i made my decision and stuck to it. despite the many shouts and warnings from all over, ive never so right about make an ‘unwise’ decision, for the lack of a better word.

i know i will miss my scope, as well as the people who are on my side and supporting me. when i told them i was leaving, many understood my situation, but at the same time, felt that it was a pity. really feel very loved that being said, i just hope he can finally realise how great the people who left have been, and how this new team will collapse. Q says we have to 积点口德 so we shall stop here.

at the end of yesternight, very mixed feelings. i feel ashamed that the wall built up again, albeit subconsciously and without me noticing. i dont know what to do about it, how to go about solving it. all i can say, is that i will try not to make that happen again. and this can probably only work, when we have such occasions again. i dont think you will want to be caught in the same situation again. so damn. we are back to square. we are only good if its just the two of us. but sadly, this whole thing, is bigger than that.

nonetheless, GD and TOP got me screaming and hyperventilating.

just kinda wish things were better. i will try but i hope you do too.